Friday, 12 October 2018

My Top Motherhood Events!

This motherhood journey from the very start has been a real rollercoaster ride for me but I think all mothers can relate to this. If you have been following my blogs you can vouch for me, when I say that this journey hasn't been easy at all. Some days I personally felt happy and full of positivity but other days were not great and I felt quite low at times.

A couple months back I decided that I was going to change my life for the better, I desperately want to succeed and my sole motivator has definitely been my son. I changed what I was eating, who I was around and the places that I went to. I did all this because I realised that more often than not my low moods were a result of me feeling lonely. Who remembers this saying " been in a place so full of people but feeling so lonely"? Well truth is, I have, so I could relate because this was how I felt most of the time.  

I imagined life with friends that I could actually talk with and friends who could actually relate to me and not get bored of me talking about mum life. So I just woke up with the mindset that everything has its season and this season was the season to start fresh and gain a new circle of friends. I began following more mothers on Instagram and that is where it all began for me.

I signed up to a lot of  mummy social events and joined a few motherhood groups which are local to me. Below I want to share with you a few of my favourite mummy social events and programs I have recently been attending mainly in London. I will be sharing what I took away and why I enjoyed each one. Hopefully this will give you an insight to my personal experiences.

#Mums and Tea

My first ever mummy event I attended was called ‘Mums and Tea’. It was all about connecting and meeting new mothers. We came together and had some tea mainly talking and getting to know everyone. I had such a good afternoon when I attended the East London meet up. I remember being quite nervous because I did not know anyone attending. Literally, never spoken with anyone just went with me and my son, so yeah it was a bit daunting. Knowing that it was nothing I had done before, I was still determined to give it a try.

I must say from the very first time I walked through the doors I felt at home. Everyone was so welcoming and the best part was that I could bring my little Jerry along to a safe and friendly environment. Not feeling judged was a breath of fresh air, everyone present were mothers too which meant that we were all in the same boat. To clarify, a lot of times when I go out with my son to places like restaurants people would stare at us, when Jerry starts fussing or when he wants to run up and down they would look at me as in to say control your child. So it was a complete relief for me as we all understood the needs of our children.

Mums and Tea picked the perfect location and provided me with a fantastic opportunity as I was able to meet some wonderful mothers and network. Seeing all these fabulous, hard working mothers from different walks of life really inspired me. It pushed me to keep growing and believe in my dreams again. We each got some lovely sponsored goodie bags that always had amazing, quirky gifts for both baby and mummy. My main reason for attending was to meet new mothers and that was definitely achieved, I felt included and both me and Jerry loved every moment of our time there.

#Time 4 Mums
This was my most recent mommy social event I attended and it blew my mind!! The whole concept was brilliant!

‘Time 4 Mums’ is an overnight retreat that was organised just for us-MUMS. This being their first retreat meant that everyone was new and most mothers had not met before. This was perfect for me because being a mother has been very demanding. Let's be honest us mums are always on the go, constantly busy with; cleaning, working, cooking, taking care of the kids, doing the laundry, playing or doing food shopping, the list goes on right? Well at this retreat all mothers got to completely relax and be pampered at the Hilton hotel for such an affordable price. #mumLifeEveryPennyCounts haha!

Time 4 Mums helped me to remember what relaxing actually felt like because it had been a long time since I was able to unwind. I had a lovely spa treatment that included a full head, neck and back massage and full access to the saunas, steam rooms, jacuzzi and pool area. How awesome is this please??

Time 4 Mums not only helped me relax again but it also helped me to find myself, remembering the fun, lively, full of energy, me! I created lifelong friendships because we had time to really get to know one another, it was great. The girls night was incredible, we had lots of bonding time, we danced and talked all night, sharing all our funny motherhood stories as well as our struggles and problems in life. We all pretty much shared our mummy hacks and I personally loved how everyone was so real and honest. OMG guys! Rewind~ I never knew how much I missed having a double bed to myself and the best part was not being woken up with cries (In my case... Jerry pulling my hair out or biting me) early morning on a weekend.

I will definitely never forget this experience because Celma (the co-founder of Time 4 Mums) went above and beyond all my expectations. She not only made sure that all 20+ mums felt included, relaxed and happy whilst at the retreat but she also showed how much she cares about all of our well beings by making time for us to all have one-to-one girl talk with her.

#Mummy fitness
This for me hit the nail on the head! I love fitness and like most mothers I desperately wanted to get back in shape because after birth my body just changed plus going to the gym was even harder. I prefer working out with a group of friends rather than on my own and so Mummy Fitness was amazing. Gabrielle the founder of Mummy Fitness organised sessions where mothers can come together and work out as a group. It was so cool because all of us mums that attended had different needs but she tailored our workout sessions so that everyone's needs were met. She also focused on working those all important abdominal and back muscles.

For me Mummy Fitness was full of fun, positive vibes and good music during our workouts. It was exercising and socialising which is what I love! Everyone was motivated and motivating each other. We became a bunch of mothers all with the same or similar goals, mainly around improving our health and fitness. Mummy Fitness reminded me that exercising can be fun and even after giving birth it is possible to keep fit and get in shape. I attended only a few sessions but in that time my body began toning up and regaining its shape. I also learnt lots of different workouts I could try whilst at home. Now words cannot explain the positive impact that attending a few sessions has had on not just my health and fitness physically but also mentally.

#The motherhood group

This event was on another scale it was special to me because I got to feed my brain. My experience was amazing. Yes, I know I use amazing a lot but this event truly was amazing lol. All mothers got together and discussed different topics that we don't usually talk about. I loved it because you could ask questions anonymously. The event I attended was based on co-parenting and relationships so we spoke about things in connection to these topics. For example, when is the right time to introduce your child to you new partners and lots of other complicated situations. It was interesting and I learnt a lot because sometimes it is good to just listen and hear lots of mothers were experienced. We discussed things that I had not even thought of before, everyone was very respectful but honest and kept it real.

At the Motherhood Group we had special guest: Jamelia, who came down to share her knowledge and experiences on motherhood with us. One of the things that really stood out to me was when we discussed 'spending time with our kids and work life'. Jamelia answered our questions thoroughly taking time to explain her answered properly. I really appreciated that.

The Motherhood Group also gave me the opportunity to network, this was not something I intended to do on the day it just happened naturally. There were lots of business focused mothers (entrepreneurs), bloggers and vloggers that came along to both events that I attended.

All the above events was exactly what I was looking for and what I needed. So I want to thank all four founders. You not only brought your fantastic visions and ideas to life but you helped me find myself again. You helped me remember my dreams and  I have a vision for myself and son’s future, you gave me precious advice, you gave me support, you helped me create friendships and bonds that will last. A big thank you from the bottom of my heart!
If you have not heard of these groups please check them out on social media and come along to there next event, it will be worth it! Who knows you might bump into me and not so little Jerry.

Thank you


Thursday, 20 September 2018

Co- parenting truths!!

Co- parenting truths!!
Who said co-parenting is easy ? Well mate they lied. 
Five or six months ago I was at a stage where I was tired of confrontation, arguments and being disrespected, as well as being disrespectful. This wasn't like me and I wanted to stay true to me but I was being pushed to my limit. I just wanted to pack mine and my son's stuff and leave. Move far away and cut everyone off.  But deep down at the back of my mind I was constantly conflicted with my hearts truth. I have always felt that it is unfair for mothers to stop father's from seeing their children regardless of the situation at hand and vice versa. I never knew how hard it would or could get.

So here I was sitting as my thoughts took me away, I began to cry tears of hopelessness. Yes i'm a big baby sometimes. I wrote a message expressing my tiredness of life and my desperate need for a healthy space to my group of girls. A few of my friends reached out to me and one in particular reminded me that Co- parenting will never be easy but we must always pray and ask God for the strength we need to keep trying, and that I should always do or say things in my sons best interest. She encouraged me to check all my motives and look behind my feelings to find the real issues.

This was key to remember because it is so easy to use children as weapons and pawns or messengers, later in life may grow up with low-self esteem, shut down emotionally and may need therapy. Statistics show that children who's parents split up and are constantly fighting, are 3x more likely to end up being expelled from school and live in poverty.

Co-parenting can be one of the hardest things for many different reasons for example, imagine having to talk to someone who makes you angry, who erupts emotions you never knew you had, who believes in different parenting strategies, who has caused you a great deal of pain, who has hurt or broken your heart or someone who just doesn't accept their parenting responsibilities.

Personally co-parenting felt like a constant battle, I desperately wanted things to change in my situation and be a happy family. I needed for my son to have the best start in life to ensure that he grows up with a strong foundation. I later found myself questioning all my motives behind all my decisions and I saw a lot of my actions was based on my feelings.

I actively put aside my ego and pride because I wanted to put my Jerry's happiness first. Here are my five most important things that help me achieving a healthy co- parenting environment.
(Not perfect but healthy)

1. Being respectful - Even when you don't want to be it is important to always treat each other with respect. Remembering that each person brings something to the table and showing respect can be as simple as listening to each other.

2. Same rules - When co-parenting it is important to work together when it comes to your child, by this I mean things like having the same set of rules with each parent. This will prevent confusion and create a consistent environment.

3. Communication-  Talking to each other about things relating to your child, for example if something is upsetting/ annoying you should verbalise how you feel to make sure everyone is on the same page.

4. Best interest of the child-  Keeping in mind "what does my child need, how do we give it to them"

5. Compromising- putting aside your feelings and wants for your child's sake. A lot of the time I find my myself "agreeing to disagree" and "keep it moving"

Lets all make sure that we are not the reason for our children not having a relationship with their other parent. Co-parenting can be hard work but it is always worth. There is so much more that I could go into but wanted to keep it short and sweet, hope you enjoyed the read.


Thursday, 16 August 2018

Mum life: Lets talk potty!

This is an interesting topic to me because I haven't completely finished the potty training process, but I think because I'm at this stage, its the perfect time to start a discussion around the topic. Let's all share ideas, so feel free to comment below with what's working for you and your little ones.

At my baby shower I was asked "whats my biggest fear when I become a mother?" I didn't actually have any, I just didn't know what to expect with motherhood. However recently Jerry's speech has 'kicked in' from nowhere, he just woke up one day and started talking very well. Just a couple weeks ago my counsellor was saying he might need to see a speech and language therapist lol the next thing you know at my last session he was talking away. That being said Jerry also has a good understanding about using the toilet, for example: he would say to me "mummy weee wee or mummy poo poo" with his cheeky laugh.

The first day Jerry said this I was filled with all the motherly emotions excitement, joy, happiness and I was just a proud mumma. Later that evening it dawned on me...OMG! Its time! Time to start potty training, this instantly became my biggest fear. I began to think about it deeply. Yep! I'm a thinker but to be honest with you I was totally confused on where to even begin.

I saw his speech as an indication that he may be ready to start potty training. I thought since he can tell me when he wants to go why not start, plus Jerry is a very smart boy. However he is currently 21 months old and so deciding to begin potty training is a bit early according to my health visitor. Since it was my decision, me being his mum, I chose to anyways and I am pleased I did.

So far I have gathered my top 8 tips for starting potty training... I mean its working for us. So why not share with you all. Let me know if it works for you too x


1. Searching -finding a good potty that works for both of us, yep this may seem over the top but I wanted Jerry to be as comfortable as can be, whilst using something I can work with too. I chose to go with the Keter toilet trainer from Argos. The steps helped my son use his potty more independently, he would just run and climb up himself. The toilet chair type of potty helped me because it was placed over the toilet. I realised my fear was not my son using the potty but more me having to clean it. LOOL  I just didn't want to be cleaning potty's every second of my day. So this was perfect.

2. Strategies- Next I began thinking of my strategy and how I was going to start. My strategy was to start at home. When we got home from our days out I would take his nappies off and since its just us at home, for the first week or so I let him run around free and I would prompt him to use the toilet every now and then.

3. Favourite underwear- After the first week or so I took Jerry shopping to pick his pants himself. Jerry loves paw patrol so I bought 3 packs of those for him. This is important as it encourages them to be enthusiastic and have fun with using the toilet rather than it becoming a mission or something negative.

4. Consistency - This is such a big one, but unfortunately we struggle with this the most. This is due to our busy schedules. Some days Jerry stays at his nan's and sometimes Aunties, its a challenge because not everyone wants to deal with accidents. But from October we will have a more stable routine and hopefully we can be more consistent with our training.

5. Prepare- I had to prepare my mindset so that I was not too disappointed, so in other words I told myself that accidents will happen and so I was not as shocked when they came round. We thank God that so far its just been pee accidents haha.

6. Patience- Being patient and encouraging is important. I try to give Jerry lots of praise even when he's had a little accident because from his perspective this is all new to him and he's learning whilst trying his best. I also don't want to put any pressure on him as this will most probably back fire.

7. Copying - Since he was little, Jerry would not let me close the bathroom door unless he was distracted by other people or his toys. I feel like him watching has helped him learn and also helped the potty training process as it is something he has seen before. Kids do learn best through what we do not what we say, so let them watch ya haha.

8. Timing- I would encourage everyone to go with your child's timing and forget about ages  (okay not entirely). If you can see it's causing your child a lot of stress and worry, I would suggest easing up a bit. On the other hand try not to restrict your children because of their age. I like to think children are smarter than we think, so go with your child's timing. Jerry has recently (as in last week) decided to be a bit lazy so I began to ease back and now this week he back all enthusiastic about his potty. I mean he still has a while to go till the recommending age anyways .


Thursday, 2 August 2018

Back to work Back to reality

So today's blog is about returning to work. I've been asked so many questions but these three really struck a chord with me; "how did you do it?" "how did you manage?" "How did you go back to work so early? "

Well, the answer is, I really don't know! In the moment it was tiring, exhausting and at times very stressful. But I kept working and over time it got a little easier, just a little lol. For me, the key was to find my own routine and set realistic expectations which is what kept me going.
Once I was able to get into a new routine I felt such a relief. For those of you who don't know, I returned back to work when my son turned 6 months old. Was this too early for me? Yes it was but due to my circumstances as well as being a single mother it was necessary. I was very lucky as my son's Nan volunteered to look after him whilst I was at work.

I do believe this helped, having Jerry's Nan look after him made the transition a bit less intense and reduced my anxiety whilst at work. I mean he was with someone he's used too, comfortable with and most importantly someone I trust. It saved me a fortune as you all already know childcare is expensive. In fact ridiculous! That being said there are so many benefits of sending your child to nursery. I'm not against it, at the time it just wasn't practical. My sons due to start nursery in October so stay tuned and keep a look out for my blog about how that goes.

Back when Jerry was six months I remember he was still being weaned on to solids. I had literally just got used to his little routine, but that was all about to change. I hate change which is one thing I'm still learning to cope with, as I find it quite hard to adapt to new situations, environments or circumstances.

For me the first thing I did was be honest with my manager. I believe I had been back for about a week and a half and I had a supervision due. In that meeting I just broke down because at this point I was exhausted. The funny thing was I had only been back for a week and a bit but it felt like a whole month lool. I started at 7 am and had to be up at 5 am most days (I was doing shift work). In the mornings between getting up and dropping him off, I would need to get my self ready as well as the usual; give my son breakfast, milk, get him dressed, pack his baby bag and drop him off.

Some days Jerry refused to eat, refused to let me dress him, refused his milk and refused to wake up. Absolute chaos right! On top of that, I didn't drive so with the clocks ticking I would drop him and then rush to work on the trains, most times I was 5-10 mins late mainly because of delays. I was living a nightmare. I find that being late to work is the worst start I could possibly have to my day, as the next 30 minutes I would spend trying to catch up.

On top of all the above, I had to deal with feeling anxious and guilty for leaving him. Some mornings my son was just so tired due to sleepless nights because of things like teething. I would still have to get him ready and drop him off. It was hard, I constantly felt like what I was doing was all wrong, but deep down I knew that in order to create the life I wanted for him, I had to sacrifice and this was one of them.

So in my meeting I was honest, I explained how I was feeling and how I actually wasn't coping. My manager was the best, she was very supportive and understanding. She reassured me and said i'm doing an excellent job and actually asked me this question  "How can the company help me?" (If your reading this, Thank you so much for your support I appreciate it). I was surprised as I didn't really know how the company could possible help me but she explained to me how they could help.

Below I will share how my company helped and also my six 'shortcuts' of what I did to make life easier and save me time in the mornings. Please keep in mind that not every company has the same policies, but I thought I would mention everything as it's still worth asking anyways.
Well if you're going back to work soon why not try them out and get into the routine from now :).

Set a meeting with your manager/supervisor.
  • One thing my manager mentioned was a starting a flexible working contract, this allowed me to work set days and times instead of shift work, as children need routine. Routines are so important for babies and children. Without routines I have seen how it can affect all aspects of their lives for example; their behaviour, their diet, sleeping habits and even energy levels.
Finding your balance
  • On my first week back I felt like I barely got to see and spend time with my son. I was working during the week and every other weekend. I did not have a balance between work life and home life, by the time we got home: had some dinner, a bath and milk, we would have just about enough time for a bedtime story. I ended up reducing my hours because I needed a balance.
Getting organised 
  • My aunt who has 2 kids gave me this tip, it was and still is my biggest 'short cut' tip. My aunt told me that she gets hers and her kids clothes ready a week ahead. I began to get mine and my sons clothes ready a week ahead. So I dedicated every Sunday morning to Organising our clothes . This, believe it or not saved me a whole 30 minutes every morning, but if a week is too much try doing it the night before. It helps because I am very indecisive and have to try on at least five outfits before I find the right one. This tip took a lot of the pressure of my morning rush. 
  • Another tip for all those that are like me and hate ironing. I avoid this where possible, most my friends and colleagues were shocked when I told them I don't iron my everyday/work clothes. They actually told me my clothes never looks crinkled or anything 'yeaa me haha!'.
  • What I do to avoid ironing is when I wash my clothes I air dry them, and once they're dry I hang everything up instead of folding. (This include my; vest, tops, jumper,dresses, jeans, joggers, leggings, trousers, shorts, skirts and all Jerry's clothes including baby grows and vests). If I do iron its literally just for our church clothes  because he has a lot of shirts that often need a run over. 
Meal preps 
  • Coming home from a long day at work I really wasn't in the mood for cooking and so this was also done on Sunday's. I would cook two different meals but big portions. I then divided the meals out into containers for me and my son. Once the food cools down I place half of each meal into the fridge and the other half in the freezer. Over time I started using freezer bags for space. This not only saved me time but also money as I actually used all the ingredients I bought and I cut down on takeaways, so essentially we were both eating healthily. We still had fresh salads and fruits throughout the week. 
  • On a really busy weekend or let say I was working that weekend, I would bring out my rice cooker or slow cooker for meats. I loved these because once the food has finished cooking it turns it self off. This allows me to do this before I go to sleep that night or work in the morning. When we come home foods ready.
  • Writing lists has become my best friend lol. I purchased a weekly menu planner that has a shopping list section and I added to it throughout the week. I prefer to do weekly shopping trips because I waste less food and I essentially buy less as I only pick up the ingredients I need to make my meals for the week. 
Making time
  • I began spending time with my son on my days off and at the weekends instead of doing chores and cooking, this I did whilst he was taking his naps. I started taking him swimming often and music classes, story time in the library or to my local children centres. We would have so much fun together. What I realised was it is easy to feel tired and have a lazy day in, but if I stayed home all day I noticed we wouldn't make the most of our day together. I would get distracted and maybe start doing other chores or watching TV. Spending quality time together just helped me to  not feel as guilty when I would leave to go to work.
Give yourself a pat on the back
  • Don't forget to just say to your self well done. I try to make a habit of saying "good job Brit" at the end of every week. Yes it's cheesy but being and thinking positively is a great motto to follow and live by. Being a mum is hard but at the same time it is one of my best achievements I have achieved. Looking back I am so happy I returned to work because my son has built a incredible bond with his dad's side of the family, which he probably wouldn't have done without this presented opportunity. In addition we can now both do things we love such as; swimming lessons and joining a football club and as he gets older I am sure this list will grow.
 Thank you for reading this blog. If you are a mummy remember you are a phenomenal woman and keep up your hard work, it will all be worth it.
" Being a mother is discovering strengths you didn't know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed " Sherene Simon


Thursday, 19 July 2018

"Living my best life"

Have you ever questioned what the statement "living my best life" really means. When you post a picture with that caption, does it show a true representation of your life? This is my real personal encounter with postnatal depression and my self love journey.

One night I was laying in the middle of the road consumed by negative thoughts, drowning in my tears, feeling sorry for myself but screaming for help. I felt like I was being chewed up from the inside, everything I was going through felt overwhelming and I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I remember about a year and a half ago I almost died. I was at such a bad place, in such a bad state and I didn't love myself and had hit rock bottom. I devoted all my energy, time and money to my "ships". Friendships, relationships, 'family-ships'. On reflection I  can see they simply didn't care about me at all and were not true "ships".

Don't get me wrong I'm still on my journey to recovery but I'm now at a place where I can openly talk about my "Post-natal Depression". Not because I have passed it, but because I have acknowledged the power of identifying and admitting to myself how I truly felt behind all my posted smiles, instead of pretending everything was fine.

As my counselling comes to an end we are reflecting on where I was and how far I have come. I wasn't eating or sleeping back then and I found it hard to get out of bed. Health professionals would come to me daily because some days I just couldn't move, wasn't attending my appointments and no-one could get through to me. One weekend I went through a traumatic event and I felt alone. I cried out for help on Snapchat and I remember my so called "friends" messaging me these exact words "stop being an attention seeker" and putting in-directs towards me on their stories. Their words pierced through my heart like a double edged sword. At that moment all I needed was a caring ear.

The effects of their words and attitudes towards me pushed me over the edge and without going into too much detail I was admitted into hospital. I say this as a message to anyone that's reading, "be kind to others as it costs you nothing and you never know what they're going through".

I had given away my power and happiness by neglecting my own needs and forgetting how to love myself. As I attended my first counselling session i remember she asked me " How much do you love yourself?" and it dawned on me that I didn't love me! My reply was I'm not sure but I knew the real answer. I actually despised myself for many reasons. I was seeking love from everywhere else and so I had found myself at a place of darkness and pain. I couldn't see why until that very moment!

After a few moments of suffocating silence, I realised it was time to start making a conscious effort to change something in me. I needed to recover. I craved for peace and happiness. This was my first step: Wanting to change! I now had someone looking up to me watching and copying my every move. It was important for me to be everything my parents wasn't for me as I grew up without them, so I know first hand how it feels. I just didn't want that for my son so it became my desire to become better.

4 Key points;

1. Being intentional about our thoughts and self talk, Create a support network. 
  • I started by changing how I spoke to myself. This mindset shift made me aware of what I was saying to myself when I felt like a failure, when I looked a hot  mess, when I didn't want to get up. Changing my thinking from negative to positive was the hardest part of my journey. To prevent me from giving up I realised I needed support, I reached out to my support network (My adoptive Nan, my Counsellor, Auntie L). I watched motivational videos and I began to read empowering books ( I will list a few in my book collection). I attended Anna Garcia's intensive relationship courses and I also changed the type of music I listened to when I was feeling low. Trust me music is powerful.
2. Focus on what we want to achieve now and pray about it, Create peace of mind.
  • When all the above was not possible I started meditation at home. Clearing my mind was needed, overpowering my inner voice with silence. This was the peace of mind I longed for. On my 22nd birthday I stopped calling my self old lol (I know right but I genuinely felt old). Me calling my self old was not because I was old in age but actually because I wasn't achieving my dreams and fulfilling my purpose. I set my goals and targets starting of with small things for example; getting out of bed everyday, cooking my favourite dishes, going for walks etc. It gradually moved on to long term goals as I felt better, for example; going back to work, starting my driving lessons, moving houses etc. I would pray over my goals and dreams whilst being proactive.This helped me to stay busy whilst being connected with God.
3. Do what you love most, Create your happiness.

  • Oh my oh my, this right hear is gold to my ears! Taking time out of life just to recharge, refocus and appreciate your self is vital. I was a fairly new mother but for my own sanity and well being I started having 'Me time' daily. After giving birth my body changed and I hated how I looked. This was a huge factor in my postnatal depression so I signed up to the gym. I went 5 days a week with out fail, no more neglecting my body. I loved working out this was my pamper time. I worked out because I wanted to become stronger on the out side and feel good on the inside. When we exercise our body releases a hormone called endorphins. This interacts with our brain and reduces our perception of pain. No wonder! I found this out a bit later but after each work out I was full of energy. In addition to this I adjusted my diet adding more fresh fruit and vegetables ( this was expensive but worth it). I begun to see a drastic change in my mood I was real happy, this was the happiness I was longing.
4. Be selfish with your time , Create the best you.

  • Evaluating became an important part of my life because I realised that the people I had around me was having an impact on my mentality. We should be careful of who and what we give emotional access to because who we open up to ultimately can have power over us and power in the wrong hands can be destructive. People don't always show you there true intentions and sometimes its people we love the most, that are jealous and unsupporting.  As the scripture says "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Proverbs 4:23
Someone once told me self love is not the destination but its the practice so lets practice loving thy self more each day. Its a journey that has no ending. Back to my title "Living my best life" is loving my self for who I am and appreciating the good and the bad, finding my purpose and achieving my dreams. Putting me first as you can't pour from an empty cup.  If you ever feel like how I felt, your not alone and it does and will get better, keep pushing. I am always here and I love you, most importantly God loves you.


Thursday, 5 July 2018

Lets get creative!


I love when I get the opportunity to get creative, do you ?
Being an adult can get boring, repetitive, full of routine and lots of busy days. So I look forward to the times when me and my son get creative and messy. We have lots of fun and I get to engage and play with him with no distractions. Giving us the opportunity to strengthen our bond.

 I've been attending this 14 weeks parenting course where I have learnt so much and I feel the need to share. I have begun to see why it is so important that I give my son my full attention a couple hours a day. YES! I said it full attention. Undivided attention. No phones! No TV! Just me and him and our imagination. Since doing this I have seen a big improvement in my sons overall behaviour and tantrums (early terrible two's I call it ha ha).

On days when me and my son are home he tends to be full of so much energy and so I get creative and start pulling stuff out. I have selected 5 activities that I will be sharing in this blog. These five activities I've selected, I would say, Jerry and I both really enjoy. They're simple, cheap and cheerful, don't  necessarily require you to go out and buy things but instead are normally things from around the house, in draws or kitchen cupboards.

Activity number one: Making your own coloured play dough!

  • What you will need;
  • 2 cups of flour 
  • 1 cup of salt
  • 1 cup of warm water
  • 2 tablespoons of oil
  • 4 teaspoons of cream of tartar (optional)
  • food colouring
  • mixing bowl
  • wooden spoon
How to make your dough.

Pour the dry ingredients ( flour, salt, cream tartar) into mixing bowl. Mix together with wooden spoon, then add the oil. Gradually add the warm water to the mixture and continue to stir. It will begin to thicken this is normal. Finally add your food colouring and knead your dough till it is a smooth/ firm texture ( It is similar to making dumplings or bread).

What can my child learn from it?
Playing with play dough allows your child to develop their motor skills as they strengthen their muscles in their hands. They also learn new language as you explore words such as "rolling" and "streching" "kneading". children always have real fun with play dough. 

Activity number two: Bottle shakers !

  • What you will need;
  • Clean empty plastic bottles with lids x3
  • Water
  • Rice
  • Glitter
  • Foil
  • Food colouring
  • Beads or hair beads
How to make your shaker.

For bottle number one fill it half way with water and add your rice, glitter and food colouring. Place lid
on and shake all the ingredients together so its mixed well. Finally apply sellotape around the ring to ensure it is secure. For bottle number two get the tin foil and rip into square chunks or long strips , place into the bottle and apply the lid. Finally add your sellotape around the ring. For your third bottle fill it up with beads or hair beads and place the lid on and make sure its secure with applying tape around ring again.

What can my child learn from it?
Your child will enjoy this as the rice creates noise and the glitter creates beautiful movements. The tin foil will reflect slow movement and whilst reflecting light from around their surroundings. The beads creates sounds and music. All the above shakes are great stimulation and helps them to develop their motor skills and learn colours.

Activity number three: cupcakes!

What you need

  • Cupcake tins
  • Mixing bowl
  • Spoon
  • 2 Medium eggs
  • 110 g of plain flour
  • 110 g butter softened
  • 110 g caster sugar 
  • 2 tbsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

How to make your cup cakes with your children 

First preheat your oven to 180 C/ Gas 4. Line your muffin tin with cases. Next put your butter sugar into a bowl and beat it until its smooth (I used my hand mixer to speed things up). sift your flour, baking powder and salt into the bowl too. Beat your egg and vanilla together with the mixture until combined. Finally spoon the mixture into your cases. bake for 20 minutes . Check its cooked inside by placing a knife through the middle, if the mixture does not sticks to the knife then its ready. leave to cool for 10 minutes. Serve with warm custard :).

What can my child learn?
Most children can take away different things, it all depend on there age and abilities

Activity number four: Shaving foam and alphabets!

What you will need .

  • Shaving foam
  • Foam alphabets or Magnet letters
  • Bath toys (alternatives)
  • Tray

How to do activity

My self and Jerry love this activity, it really allows us to get messy. If your like me, and are a bit of a
clean freak. First I would create a space where you and your child can be free. Next fill your tray with shaving foam and put in your alphabet letters/ magnets or any bath toys in.

                            what your child can gain from it.
Your child will then go on a little hunt find the toys or alphabets, whilst exploring the different texture in their hands. You will be surprised but this can keep them busy having fun for a while. 

5 bouncy rice balloons !  

What you will need.
  • Balloon 
  • rice
  • elastic band (optional)

How to make 

This one is a real quick and simple one, but so much fun. Place the rice into the balloon before blowing
it up, after that's complete blow it up and tie a knot.

What can my child learn from it ?

All the above activities are suitable for toddlers but pick the ones that best suit your child's interest and abilities. Hope you have lots of fun and enjoy "lets get creative" as much as I do. 

Thursday, 21 June 2018


Do you love to have fun? I know I do!
Come to think of it we all do, each and every one of us, be it; babies, toddlers, children, teens or even us adults. 

As you can guess by my tittle today's blog is about our trip to the farm. Originally, the plan was to go to the beach with our play mates but the weather wasn't looking so promising (thank you London weather). Instead, we all decided to take a trip to Vauxhall city farm.
Now as you can imagine, this was a rare occasion for us busy Londoners to be able to take a trip to a farm and get to see, touch and hear animals sounds in real life. WOW! How amazing would it be if this was the norm?

Although, this was rare to us I must say we all had a spectacular time and it turned out to be such a beautiful day, packed with lots of fun and thrilling moments . Jerry and his play mate are both at that age where they are curious about animals and learning their sounds. This was a brilliant trip as he loved seeing all the animals especially the ducks and chickens. He loved hearing the cows mooing, sheep's baaaaaaaaaing (haha) and hearing him repeat the animals sounds was super adorable.

The farm really captured Jerry's full attention as we all made our way around. This trip was eye opening because I realised how much a toddler or child can learn from just visiting the farm. At ages 1-2 I feel that toddlers are not just learning animals and sounds, they are actually taking away so much more from the experience. For example, they can learn where the food that they eat comes from; chickens lay eggs  and cows produce milk. As they get older they will start to make the connections between farm animals and the food chain, helping them to appreciate food more. In addition, the children can learn how to care for animals.

If any of you are like me and are not so fortunate enough to get your child/ children a pet. Visiting a farm can give them that opportunity to interact with animals by; feeding, grooming or just stroking an animal. These are all incredible opportunities to equip your child with different skills. Both Jerry and his mate were so lucky because they both got to watch a closeup of a few girls horse riding in the fields. They loved it I was actually more scared than them.

My son has been scared of nearly every animal since birth so I was so proud of how well he handled seeing all the animals. You should have been there to see the look of pure joy and excitement on his face which made me smile. As we went around the farm, he would point to animals making his best impression of their sounds, sometimes trying to call them by their names. Jerry touched and stroked Cheddar the guinea pig with some encouragement this was one of his biggest achievements of the day.

This is a must guy! I would highly suggest that whether you are a; Mummy, Aunty, Daddy, Uncle, Grandparent, Cousin or even Godparent, that you take your toddlers/children to your local farm. If you can't find one in your area why not visit Vauxhall city farm? It's free admissions and its not to busy or packed. Taking your child to the farm will definitely aid their intellectual development and would also strengthen your bond by the quality time spent together. When we got home my son was so pumped about the animals, he was yelling animal sound around the house all week long! Haha precious!


Thursday, 14 June 2018

Dear Jeremiah

Dear Jeremiah,
Did you know you used to live in my tummy? I was only 21 when you were born but oh how you've changed my life already. I'ts been a year and a half and what joy you've brought to my world. You've turned me into such a strong woman who is now more focused than ever. Focused on creating a better life for you and me, a life where you can achieve all your dreams and prosper. A life full of happiness and cherished memories together.

Could anything prepare me for motherhood? After carrying you for nine months, there you were. Later that night in the hospital I stared at you in your cot. You looked so beautiful and calm as you slept. I often day dreamed of the future and how great you will be. My greatest heart's desire is to be nothing less than to be a good mother to you. I want you to know that sometimes it gets hard but I will never, stop striving to doing my best or ever stop loving you.

Do you know why I love you? As soon as you came into my life you've showed me the true meaning of unconditional love. Love that is freely given, regardless of situations and feelings. I remember when you had just turned 1yr and about 3 months, you threw my special money jar across the room then, ran around giggling. I was so annoyed and how you managed to reach it, I still have no clue. I sat there and couldn't help but stare because my heart was full of joy despite being really upset with you. Hearing the sound of your giggle softened my heart to the point where I could no longer be upset with you.
It was at that point that I realised how much your happiness means to me.

I love you, because you give me purpose. I love you, because your smile is infectious and your laugh makes my heart dance. I love how you pat my back whilst i'm hugging you, you make me feel so warm and snuggly. I love your sweet smell. I love you, because you've given me so much to live for. I love you because on a bad day you make everything so much more bearable. I love you because
Seeing you run around the house gives me energy when it's time for nappy/clothes change and you decide it's time to play 'catch me if you can'.
I love how excited you get when you see a ball.
All these things and many more make's you unique and this is why I truly love you!

I remember when you first called me "mumma" I nearly cried but when you called me "mummiee" I turned my head in shock and disbelief. Oh, how you've grown up so fast. I need you to stay small forever but I know that's not possible. So you've got my permission to grow up, just not too fast.
Love you forever and always


Thursday, 24 May 2018

Special Blessing

Hakuna Matata - it means no worries for the rest of your days 

On the 11th of February 2017 I decided to get my son blessed by God. This was an amazing day in which I made the conscious decision to raise my son to love God. However a couple months before this my son had his naming ceremony. This is a more cultural thing rather than a religious thing, but I believe that names are very important and so my son needed to have names that have positive connotations and also a powerful meaning behind it. My son's full name means; May Jehovah exalt, Jehovah has healed & God is great. When my bubba grows up I hope he remembers the meanings of his names, which both myself, his dad and grandma chose.

On his dedication day I welcomed him into our church community. The family and I celebrated this day as it was a very important day for us all. I have been asked on several occasions as to why I chose to have a baby dedication and so in this blog post I will be sharing a few of my personal reasons why.

One of my reasons was I just really wanted to thank God for the precious gift of life and for bringing my son safely into this world without complications of any sort.

Another one of my reasons were blessings, I wanted God to bless his life and place an extra blessing over his life, for favour, protection and mercy.

What also made me want to have a dedication was the commitment which had to be made by myself and all his family at attendance, to commit to raising him up to the best of our ability in the church, Gods love and his word.

I loved the dedication as my church family also made a commitment to help or step in if or where necessary. This reminded me of all the support I have, as it really does take a village to raise a child. I am Seventh Day Adventist (S.D.A) and our baby dedication is different from christening as my son was not baptised or sprinkled with water. I feel that the decision to get baptised should be up to my child when he feels of age and is conscious of his decision. After the commitment made by the family and church community my little bundle of joy was anointed with oil and prayed for by the pastor and congregation.

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed thee in the womb I knew you; 
Before you were born I sanctified you;
 I ordained you a prophet to the nations."

Thursday, 3 May 2018


What an awesome way to start this new month !
I am so excited to share my reality about motherhood so brace yourself for lots of my juicy truths.The first instants of motherhood was such a weird experience. Let's say my first night at home with my son was overwhelming. Actually I think the word I am looking for is NIGHTMARE! The first week will fly by but expect constant visitors and a forever crying bubba.

I was the anxious type of mother, always thinking i'm doing it all wrong. I must admit the first couple of weeks hit me like someone threw a brick at me. No way on earth would I say I expected anything that happened. Okay! yeah you're warned by other mums about the sleepless nights and the long days but regardless of these warnings, you just don't expect whats coming. You will convince yourself your ready for both the good and bad but the 3am wake ups is when you will question your whole life. My son would wake up every 2-3 hours for a feed and by the time I'd close my eyes, yup! hes awake again.

I would try to get through each day but found my self constantly asking questions, feeling exhausted and confused. Like why wont he stop crying? Did he get enough milk? Does his bum need changing?Something must be wrong! Getting to know what each of his cries meant was tough. This was an intense period because your the sole provider for your baby which needs around the clock care, attention and love.

How I manage to learn what each cry meant and sounded like was by monitoring when exactly he would cry. For example, if I would feed him and 5 minutes later he cried I would assume that its not because he is hungry. Also I would identify the reason behind his crying by the pitch, tone, the length and sometimes the time. This all sounds so technical but this was the most important stage for me because it prevented me from losing my sanity.

On days I felt like giving up (everyday LOL) I would reach out to my support network. Thankfully I had an amazing support network who would always come to save the day! They were so encouraging towards me, comforting me with their words and letting me know that I was doing a fab job.

Surprisingly this actually helped me relax a bit and I would gain the confidence I once had. I slowly began to enjoy each day without feeling the need to rush through the day. Having extra support allowed me to breathe and also helped me let out my emotions and inner feelings. When they offered to help I would solely use this time for "me"; taking a shower, or going for a skate, just doing things I loved. Lots of people disagreed with this but as the saying goes " you can't look after someone else if your all worn out" and so the time to recuperate is essential.

With each day there will be good times and bad times, but through the bad times is when you really have to be intentional about your thoughts. The first couple of weeks you may feel as if you are an emotional wreck and there may be the temptation to compare yourself to other mums. Comparing yourself to others will give you a false reality of motherhood as every parent will struggle with different things, so focusing on your own motherhood journey is vital.

For me concentrating on all the positive and the small things really helped me. I started a journal writing all the positive things that happened in my day with my son. I logged all his first's; his first giggle, the first time he lifted his head, his first roll over and his first tooth. This helped me enjoy each moment and stay away from comparing my self as well as my son.

Time fly's by so quick, your baby will go from sitting up, to crawling on their own, then walking, talking and running. Maybe not in that exact order but something like that. so enjoy each moment and remember it does get better.

Here are six  things I took for granted before motherhood

1. Sleeping. Now i'm a mother even when i'm tired, it is quiet rare I get to sleep when I actually want to and taking midday naps no longer exists.

2. Socialising. Going out, be it with friends or family, even if it's for a walk or trip to the shops. Honestly, now it is mission impossible haha. No! OKAY but forreal  You have to make sure your baby bag is pack, his nappy is changed, he's eaten and the list goes on... this is all before we leave.

3. Having my own space. "personal space" shall I say. Me just being able to sit and read a book or enjoy my silence and get lost in my thoughts. I really miss this now but this is non-existent. No such thing haha. My son will constantly want my attention and yes I love this but we all need our space. Trust me when I say he's all up in my grill! Sometimes I literally can't breath as I'm quite an introvert but I've just had to adjust.

4. Long Baths. As funny as this sounds I miss bathing, now I can barely be in the bath for 5 minutes before he comes running in calling "mumma mumma" or trying to climb into my bath.

5. Organised house. I have come to the realisation that my place will 99.9% of the time be messy. As soon as you put the toys away he instantly pulls them out again. Before my son started walking it wasn't so bad but now there's no stopping him.

6. Memory on my phone.Yes, this one I DEFINITELY miss, whenever I am trying to download a new app or get a new song on my phone and the no storage sign pops up. I literally would cry because I already know its the 2,000 photos I have of my son on my phone.
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