I AM A MOTHER... NOW WHAT??

What an awesome way to start this new month !

I am so excited to share my reality about motherhood so brace yourself for lots of my juicy truths.The first instants of motherhood was such a weird experience. Let's say my first night at home with my son was overwhelming. Actually I think the word I am looking for is NIGHTMARE! The first week will fly by but expect constant visitors and a forever crying bubba.

I was the anxious type of mother, always thinking i'm doing it all wrong. I must admit the first couple of weeks hit me like someone threw a brick at me. No way on earth would I say I expected anything that happened. Okay! yeah you're warned by other mums about the sleepless nights and the long days but regardless of these warnings, you just don't expect whats coming. You will convince yourself your ready for both the good and bad but the 3am wake ups is when you will question your whole life. My son would wake up every 2-3 hours for a feed and by the time I'd close my eyes, yup! hes awake again.

I would try to get through each day but found my self constantly asking questions, feeling exhausted and confused. Like why wont he stop crying? Did he get enough milk? Does his bum need changing?Something must be wrong! Getting to know what each of his cries meant was tough. This was an intense period because your the sole provider for your baby which needs around the clock care, attention and love.

How I manage to learn what each cry meant and sounded like was by monitoring when exactly he would cry. For example, if I would feed him and 5 minutes later he cried I would assume that its not because he is hungry. Also I would identify the reason behind his crying by the pitch, tone, the length and sometimes the time. This all sounds so technical but this was the most important stage for me because it prevented me from losing my sanity.

On days I felt like giving up (everyday LOL) I would reach out to my support network. Thankfully I had an amazing support network who would always come to save the day! They were so encouraging towards me, comforting me with their words and letting me know that I was doing a fab job.

Surprisingly this actually helped me relax a bit and I would gain the confidence I once had. I slowly began to enjoy each day without feeling the need to rush through the day. Having extra support allowed me to breathe and also helped me let out my emotions and inner feelings. When they offered to help I would solely use this time for "me"; taking a shower, or going for a skate, just doing things I loved. Lots of people disagreed with this but as the saying goes " you can't look after someone else if your all worn out" and so the time to recuperate is essential.

With each day there will be good times and bad times, but through the bad times is when you really have to be intentional about your thoughts. The first couple of weeks you may feel as if you are an emotional wreck and there may be the temptation to compare yourself to other mums. Comparing yourself to others will give you a false reality of motherhood as every parent will struggle with different things, so focusing on your own motherhood journey is vital.

For me concentrating on all the positive and the small things really helped me. I started a journal writing all the positive things that happened in my day with my son. I logged all his first's; his first giggle, the first time he lifted his head, his first roll over and his first tooth. This helped me enjoy each moment and stay away from comparing my self as well as my son.

Time fly's by so quick, your baby will go from sitting up, to crawling on their own, then walking, talking and running. Maybe not in that exact order but something like that. so enjoy each moment and remember it does get better.

Here are six  things I took for granted before motherhood

1. Sleeping. Now i'm a mother even when i'm tired, it is quiet rare I get to sleep when I actually want to and taking midday naps no longer exists.

2. Socialising. Going out, be it with friends or family, even if it's for a walk or trip to the shops. Honestly, now it is mission impossible haha. No! OKAY but forreal  You have to make sure your baby bag is pack, his nappy is changed, he's eaten and the list goes on... this is all before we leave.

3. Having my own space. "personal space" shall I say. Me just being able to sit and read a book or enjoy my silence and get lost in my thoughts. I really miss this now but this is non-existent. No such thing haha. My son will constantly want my attention and yes I love this but we all need our space. Trust me when I say he's all up in my grill! Sometimes I literally can't breath as I'm quite an introvert but I've just had to adjust.

4. Long Baths. As funny as this sounds I miss bathing, now I can barely be in the bath for 5 minutes before he comes running in calling "mumma mumma" or trying to climb into my bath.

5. Organised house. I have come to the realisation that my place will 99.9% of the time be messy. As soon as you put the toys away he instantly pulls them out again. Before my son started walking it wasn't so bad but now there's no stopping him.

6. Memory on my phone.Yes, this one I DEFINITELY miss, whenever I am trying to download a new app or get a new song on my phone and the no storage sign pops up. I literally would cry because I already know its the 2,000 photos I have of my son on my phone.